real time poetry during the Victoria Secret’s Fashion show

I’m very negative in this for whatever reason and very sarcastic. If that brand of humor upsets you, then roll on.

A poem for you,
a poem for you.
I could just go on and describe my own poo.
I should just go on and say my doo doo
looks like a giant nerds rope but brown.
a sound pound of the town ground round.
It floats with ease
Don’t even tease,
Speaking of TEASE – the vicky secrets fashion show’s on!
gotta turn it on, gotta see the girls flaunt and taunt.
adriana lima! she looks black tonight,
I should ask her spray on tan guy if he wants to fight.
Starting this bitch off with the Xena look – me likes..
yeah yeah, women are powerful, especially if they’re dykes.
usher you lucky son of a bitch look at you sweat
I got an idea that’ll get the ratings up I bet.
yank one of those many straps you see walking by
from the top of the shoe up to above the thigh
watch martha steward say oh my!
along with many other celebs at the “sexiest night on TV” (a lie)
commercial break, for victoria secrets? no way!
spend money! it’s christmas in red and grey!
Spend away!
Norelco will make daddy’s day!
7 thousand dollar braces let’s do it!
the earth stood still? well shit.
Get back to the bras!
I don’t care about crime dramas.
it’s 10:12 now,
how long before I see adriana’s tit crack when they bow?
rehearsals… really? does it take a whole lot?
get the fuck up there, smile, walk and look hot.
makeup for hours? aweee.. poor you,
Our banner supplier didn’t cut our banners for us today, so I had to…
it took all day and the stuff I had to do today will wait until tomorrow.
oh look! bringin out the salsa,.. that first chick is gorgeous! THERE’s JOHN STEMOS!
Hmmm.. I don’t know how I feel about collar lingerie and ripped fishnets
but sparkles will work, the crowd only cheers for the famous tits!
Is that chicks skirt made out of porceline?
wow, that’s feminine.
Babaloo o’le! o’le! I know what you can lay.
Was that ben affleck? if it was, he looked fat and gay.
Oh I love the Berotold Brecht style deal
ok that’s a lie like suicide it makes me feel.
oh boy more commercials! Adriana in a burgundy tit holder
Miracle bra cut to “yes man” what can be bolder?
KFC? that’s right let’s hit all the demographics,
cubicles with people and giraffe necks.
Black card? I’m not interested,
I wonder if Lima’s Vag is blistered and red?
is that gross? I’ll ask dave letterman,
crime dramas stink, Can’t believe seal is heidi klum’s man.
Cellino and barnes are evil
let’s get back to the peepshow.
5 seconds of black? what’s the deal Beretold?
these girls have some tight bodies Adriana looks cold!
I like the gretuitus assneck shot
that one outfit looks like it was stole off my grandmother’s cot!
Puffy cheers hard for the black chick that looks like the freezemiester
“oh these shoes hurt!” way to show that, advertizing disaster.
Getting tired of hearing the instructions, but love seeing that bitch bleed.
pick up lines? you don’t like them, thanks for the tip.. how’s “swallow my seed”?
now I’m watching “bootcamp?” none of these swim suits are sexy.
kill the patterns, and when you do, go ahead and text me.
BIG HUGS! I’m in. Ohhhh my it’s the “pink” series.
Girl power girl power. please..
Nice scarf though!
horrible skirt though.. so…
OH! its says kisses on her vagina
huge furry boots right behind her.
I think that one girl stumbled in her big ass shoes!
angel wings and now to commercial breaks? Boo hoos!
I won’t go on about the way that these commercials go
but I will take a break to grab something to throw
down my throat hole that rhymes with cheer -
you got it. it’s mother fucking beer.
Back to the show, very tired of this format,
I want to be like Usher? how the shit did you hear that?
look at him dance.. ok, I’m ready to glance
at some boobs in bras, same chick starts each set, give another a chance.
This ain’t sex.. haha whatever usher.
You know you don’t want anything but a gusher.
Ok here’s where the fabric comes from.
I may be a debbie downer but I don’t give a shit, how come?
Oh boy real violins! you never get that shit anymore
straps are very popular and apparently so is the home and garden store.
a massive loofa adorns that chicks head.
that one girl better keep her mouth closed or she’ll wind up dead.
I wish I was a person waving a bird silhouette in the background.
falling rose petals, in the cleavage they’ll be found.
tweeze those eyebrows you’re a vicky secret’s model!
someone dropped the ball but her body I would coddle
Quick change comin’ up girls you better run like jerks.
Multimillion dollar bra? I guess my interest perks.
More commercials, more booze,
then I’ll watch the tail end of this flooze.
10:52 5 million dollars in diamonds oh wow!
you girls are powerful and elegant I should bow.
I guess.. but that one chick had a tramp stamp!
I would like to lock them all in that room and set up camp!
Slo mo cam is ok I tell ya! who’s rocking the million crisper bra?!
watch it be martin lawrence dressed like big mama, no.. it’s ms lima! (duh)
They didn’t show that bra for long. some of these girls are real cute.
Klum as a big fuckin ribbon? I think I might hit mute.
Barking orders, I don’t need to hear it
I would like to see a wardrobe malfunction and see a tit.
Ohhhh.. here comes the final number. they’re all showin’ up.
pyro! holy shit you guys spared no expense. Amanda Bynes! SUP!
This was kind of a waste of my time, leaving me more frustrated than before.
If you read this, it probably wasted yours too, it was quite the bore.
and BOOM show over, wow that final number didn’t tie it together at all.
Now, Live – a mom just died on main street vehicular manslaughter, what gall!
Going from 40 girls in bras to death and rape
talk about going from midnight to six, but the mouth is still agape.
that’s all for now, I hope you enjoyed,
I know you didn’t though, that’s why I’m unemployed.

ok I’m not.. but it rhymed.

cheers,
jw